Data and Experience in shaping personality

At the early stages, all sorts of confusions exist around us. Remember the example of Srini in the earlier episode. Sometimes, what we accumulate as data in our mind has a very rare reusable value. However when we are at the moment - we do not have a choice of what to take in and what not. A helpless situation!

Is it only what we read and hear that transforms into a data inside? Obviously No. We also accumulate various things that we SEE in our memory. It is believe that things that we SEE have an increased power of being registered in the mind and hence the teaching techniques around audio visuals. 

Remember the recent movie slumdog millionaire - this aspect of experiences and visual impacts were captured in an excellent way when the hero tries to answer the questions by recollecting his early days.

The supercomputer inside all of us works non-stop!

The pity that I was thinking about is how much of such data collected - say in the first 15 years apart from the periodical exams which uses the 'academic' data being reproduced. One exception could be the sports/arts where a repetitive practice leads to perfection and excellence. Most of the data comes handy in shaping up of our personality over the years.

Our Srini, in his early days was living in not-so financially rich condition. His new dresses were always confined to once or twice a year. His new books were only a second option when could not find a friendly senior who passes it on to him. He has never gone in a school picnic, and never know what happens. 

Do you think any of these experiences and exposures play a part when our friend grows up in Age?

Identity

Our hero Srini is just in the process of evolving

The realities of living outside known places - i.e., our own home sets in few weeks.

The life takes him through an emotional roller coaster - now with a set of new people who we be with - friends, teachers, etc. An element of wider thinking sets in. The process of acquiring knowledge through questioning, reading, discussing and observing starts to take its shape with life in the school. A phase of information overload.  

A period where Srini starts living to the tunes of others expectations  also begins. Every time there is a test, there is an expectation from Parents that he should win, he should get first mark, he should get centum, Teachers expect him understand everything that is taught to us and perform in the tests. Be it the education or sports, this phase is probably the beginning of the external forces trying to influence. Especially when Srini himself does not know what he want.

Srini is not unique. He is you. He is me and he is in all of us!

Im not trying to criticise the surrounding - this is absolute reality of what kind of circumstances prevail when we grow (especially given the educational system that is prevalent in the place I live). I have observed in some other parts of the world, the life could be slightly different.

In this part, Srini feels bad for becoming a 4th rank during his mid-terminal exam. He says he did his best. The gap between Rakesh (his class mate, who became first) and srini is about 5- marks. Srini's mother was upset with this.

Srini has never felt confident in language subjects. This time, he was the class topper, leaving his dear rival Rakesh behind by 10 marks. Sir was very pleased with Srini's performance. 

Srini also plays good foot ball. He practices every day, and his father wants him to play for the state. Unfortunately he fell ill during district selection match and he could not make it. He lost an opportunity this year.

What this phase really does is - for a beginning, others try to place their expectations and dreams on ourself.  We start living with specific targets and derive a sense of satisfaction/success or disappointment with our own performance in relation to others.

We start benchmarking our ability in relation to others (ranks and medals). 

Should we enlighten our next gen to start competing with themselves at some stage? Should we consciously groom our next gen to avoid a sense of comparison?

Actually, I admire the game of golf for the same reason. It is probably the only game where you start competing with yourselves, for an ongoing improvement. Some form of performing arts and even writing  brings in this flavour to some extent.

Parallely, what also grows is data in our hard-disk. Scientific, historical and geographical (and etc) of data that we keep adding year after year. In one single direction - only additions. 

When did you last attempt to clean up the data? 

Does the volume of data and the quality of your hard disk (to retrieve data) signifies how learned you are?  

Does the number of years of structured education lead to others considering you as 'educated'? How important is others perception on you?  Are there moments of truth which shapes our personality? 

Jumping Lane

I remember reading somewhere that about 64000 thoughts cross our mind every day. There is no single moment where in our normal course that we are without thoughts. Thoughtlessness occurs to some extent when we sleep. All the beginning of meditation that I have come across starts with a very simple point of focusing on your mind or on a single thoughts. This way, at some stage, with practice and with the right guidance, we can feel the thoughtlessness. And that stage when it occurs at your will seem to be a higher stage in meditation - a samadhi state. When you start accepting things around you as they are - never trying to influence them or never allow them to influence you. You - mean the thoughts that cross your mind. The magic of getting to this have been explained and experienced by many learned saints and gurus - Some start with nama smaranam (repetition of god's name), nama sangeerthanam (through music praising god), tantra, mantra (repetition of ancient mantras on specific gods), etc and the list goes on.... include even the most inspiring 'zen', way of attaining enlightenment.

What  the thoughts lead us to? What does it comprise of? Why?

In my own experience and based on the people who I interact - thoughts are essentially surrounding :  a dream state, a fear of unfortunate thing happening, a planning for next minute, an emotion relating to the past (Anger, Happiness, Sorrow, Guilt, Regret, perceptions of others, etc). If you start watching your thoughts for few minutes and start writing down what flashes your mind, you will be able to relate to what I am referring here. Very few things that relates to the 'present'  - Here and Now. 

Even while writing this piece, my thoughts revolve around how the reader will think while reading this. This is just an example. 

The downside of analysing and thinking how your thoughts are inter-related, as an observer, beware - you could end up in a state of observing yourself - a Dual role. The person who thinks and the person who observes what the thoughts are. In some of the old sayings, the detachment like the example that I mentioned is what is preached as a way to enlightenment. A detachment of yourselves from your own self (your body, mind, your surroundings and your possessions). 

Because "YOU" the soul is beyond all these.  Let me turn the question to myself for easier articulation.

I am not just this physical body. Im not just the one who is known by 'neighbour'. Im not just the roles I play - as a father, husband, co-worker, subordinate, friend.  Im not just what I possess - a person owning this house, this PC, . Im also not just what the knowledge I acquired through education and experience. Im not the failures that I was part of - Im also not the successes that I was part of.

'I' am Beyond all these. 

Unfortunately, even while we introduce ourselves we very easily start with our 'name' an identity of this existence. When we describe someone, most often we start saying he is tall, he is well mannered, he is rich, he is well qualified, etc.

It has been a quiet Sunday! Lots of food, rest and sleep. I saw a crow this morning - what a peace of mind in its face - Very simple day for him too.... Had food and started flying......Will he think of what would happen for the lunch?............or the thoughtlessness and living in the NOW brings him all peace? The question continues!

Growing Up

Let us see what happens when our hero grows up a little

First day in school - the expectation is that the day comes to an end fast and can meet mother very soon. Its all strangers around... some children, lots of teachers, what to do. I miss my home, I miss my ma and father. Looking at eagerly and with lots of tears in the eyes on when will they let me free to go. Oh I also feel hungry, I do not like this place. Where is my mother? I do not want chocolate any more, I just want to be at home. (Exceptions, please excuse! - you may be the brave ones)

The desperation continues.... now back to being with familiar faces and circumstances. It takes time to accept the reality. There is school every day....and love those wonderful saturdays and sundays

Mind grows with the age, experience and maturity. The search also undergoes a modification slightly. The beauty is that the search never stops. Even when we find what we want. The success in search leads to a further search?

When our hero gets a first mark in Drawing, it grows to a stronger desire to get first mark in other subjects. When you score better marks in your first term, the desire grows to continue that. Our hero also start feeling happy when his friends do not score as much as him

So coming back to the basics, the search transforms into expectation, leads to a desire and grows greed - What do you say?

Going by two famous thoughts I have frequently heard - Desire is the root of all evils and never have expectations if you need to avoid disappointments. I do not quite agree both. We probably would exist with lack of motivation and drive - if we do not have desire and do not expect anything. The context varies as a factor of our maturity, philosophical mind set and more importantly circumstances.

First Step

Having seen where we started, now I think it is appropriate to grow a little. 

There was always a very nice uncle, aunty, neighbour, sister, brother,........ when we started realising the faces. Babies smile when they look at a familiar face. They stop crying when they are in the care of their familiar face. And how do we develop those familiarity and initial affection? It starts in a very ambiguous (to me atleast!) way without a reason and moves on to a stage where this affection and familiarity is a factor of few things - They love the uncle who bring choclate and toys, they love the person who takes them out, they love the person who supports them (e.g, when a little one is not interested in taking bath, anyone who rescues and promises not to give bath becomes one of those 'affectionate' person. Apologies for a very ugly example - still I see babies who are averse to taking bath). 

There is always someone who takes effort and buys the toy that we were looking for. Most of the time it is our very parents - sometimes, this is also extends to a wider group of friends and relatives of our parents. Why babies like the person who buys toys and choclates etc. Is it that they understand what the child is looking for (searching for!?). Most of the time you'd have seen that the moment the baby gets what he/she wants - be it a choclate or a toy, etc, they vanish from the scene to enjoy their new possession. They disassociate the person from the possession.

In one of the recent movies (Tamil MA), there was a scene when the boy explains fathers affection to his teacher. He says, "my father used to lift me and go in a circle (thattamalai) fast thinking that I always liked it. He never asked me whether I liked it or not. I also kept quiet". 

As time grows, they start getting wiser and associate very easily to the person who provides. The person always gets a preferential treatment - a special hug and smile! Why is this? Has the object lost its attraction or there is a hope of getting something new or a way of showing gratitude for giving the happiness at one point in time?

Has the search now got little broadened beyond the immediate parents?

A quick question to the viewers - Do you think expectation and search are the same or independant to one another?

Starting Point 2

,babty

There is so much of passion attached to the act called 'search'. I'm not referring to any technological terms here. It is the act of 'search' that keeps us going minute after minute. Do you remember when you first started searching?

The search began on the first minute when we were born in this world. All babies cry when they are born. They cry in search of something - the cry for food, and they cry in fear of the unknown. The cry stops when the mother takes the baby on her laps and shoulders. 

It cries with a sense of fear - the fear of unknown. The whole world is new for the baby. The people are new. No names and no faces. All that the child can relate to is the warmth of the mother. The person who knows what the baby was looking for - food or need for sleep or the need for attention. Mothers intelligence has no comparison with anything that you see. She interprets the child so well - and provides what is needed for the child from the very first minute of the child born in this world. 

My humble tribute to all the mothers in this universe in this very important day! Happy mothers day to all mothers! 

This fundamental need for 'someone' to take care of us - understand us - and provide us with what we really want even when we do not know what we want - almost remains constant. 

Our understanding of this and the faith that we keep on the provider keep changing - Starting with mother in our first minute of being,......................................................

One most beautiful line from a cine song in Tamil keeps coming back to my mind - ' Thedal Vidiyal Tharum!'

As mentioned yesterday, these are certain thoughts of mine. Happy to receive your comments. The site name is very co-incidental and does not mean in any way that this is the wisdom that I obtained. 

The Starting Point

We all have a wonderful opportunity given by almighty called life. 

The idea behind this space is to share some of the observations and thoughts on what I see around. 

The journey of life that all of us carry through every minute has its own 'emotions' attached to it. For some it may be a joy and for some it could well be a pain waiting for it to get over. However, irrespective of what our emotions are, we are constantly moving towards something..... The search....... which keeps us going.... from minute to minute, day after day! what are we searching for? 

If I look back, my search has been very different at every point in time. I am sure it is the same for each of you, reading this. It has been a constant evolution that the object of my search (and objectives..!) has changed over time... starting from a very simple, self oriented goal of finding the right stream of study in the early days.

What has remained constant is the 'search' itself and its believed to remain for ever at least till we are here in this wonderful home called earth.